nothing in my life is exciting, everyday its just looking at recuitment websites, looking for jobs and waiting for people to call. Well, i've really mastered a point whereby even if people called me up for interviews, i wun feel excited or anxious or whatever coz i'm already numb abt it.

i'm SOOOOSOSOSSOOO sick and tired of people asking me how's my job search, giving me advices like "did u try those agents?", "maybe u are too picky?", "why don't u try temp 1st?" and BLAH BLAH BLAH

i know they care about me thats why they bother to advise me, but THE THING is i know of all these! and i'm not v picky already. And yes i've tried those contract work, its not as if i didn't, but it failed in the end. I'm also quite sick of people telling me those layman sweeping statement like "the job market is v good" yah i know, but do u know the competition is even more tense, do u know of the fact that whenever i applied for a job, hundreds of people are competing with me at the same time?

Seriously, last night i prayed to god that people wun start asking me about my job search EVERYTIME they see me, not being able to find job is bad, but having to be reminded is even worse.

i tried to firmly believe in God that if i prayed and leaved it to Him, he will provide for me. and all those failed applications mean that he has closed all the doors and provide a better one for me. And i'm thankful for some of my church friends who affirm me to trust in his ways. All i need is some affirmation to keep to my faith. Everytime people starts to provide other explanations like ones mentioned above, i would begin to doubt myself and feel sad that maybe its something wrong with me. Why can't people just tell me that its just god's plans?

Seriously i'm not really v upset abt still not being able to find a job. I'm upset because of how people react and think that i'm so poor thing. It almost makes me feel that i should pity myself too. I know that people are nice and trying to help, but i feel upset along the way.

I'm thankful for god speaking to me today. I was quite upset and god reminded me to read the bible. I've been doing qt on 1 Samuel for the past week and today i happened to read about how god chooses david to be the next kind. samuel intitally thought it should be another of jesse's son but god told him that "The Lord didn't see things they way you see them".

I feel God is exactly telling me this. For those who are perhaps having a bad time now, i think that u can refer back to this verse and remember God's promises to us.