i've been to 2 interviews this wk, one job that i REALLY like, and i mean REALLY, and 1 job that i don't like at all.

the stupid uob people still havent called me! omg, the week is ending soon and i've told myself mentally that they won't call me to get myself prepared of the disappointment. and i get depressed all over again and the same routine comes along AGAIN!

1) to grumble and complain
2) to cry out to god why must he treats me this way
3) to seriously think what's my problem man! Is it god's will or is it me?
4) to tell God that I'm losing my faith, I'm giving up and not trusting in Him anymore
5) To think about all the biblical characters who went through tougher times than me but still kept their faith, even when they died!
6) to apologise to god for venting my anger and brace myself together again

ok so i'm at pt 6 now, reading a book i've just borrowed from the lib. how i love reading books, to imagine i was the writer, experienced and fantansized about a different life, how exciting! (ok at least to me) just to sidetrack abit, i really enjoy Jill Mansell and Jane Green's books! they are my all time favourite authors! Mind you, i've read ALL (really ALL) of Jill Mansell's books that I have to force myself to try out other authors. I tried Marian Keyes and Chris Manby but i just think that their style are just sooooo boring. i gave them chances, but the more i read, i more i decided they are just not my type. and just when i thought shit i have nothing more to read, i saw a new book by Jane Green! Yeah life is going to be good for me the following week!

Anw back to my jobless situation, so u can see this is how my daily life goes. Apply for jobs, go for interviews, grumble about not getting the job and the subsequent 5 steps, watch tv den read a bk and next day will be applying for jobs again.

I really really dread going for the interview today. Its at lion capital (a fund management coy). 1) IT is not a bank. 2) IT is admin!! ok to me ops in other institution other than bank is admin! and trust me the job scope sounds more like admin than ops! ( although i duno if there is a diff)

and so i was walking and finding my way holding a stupid map and i finally ARRIVED! and i was so happy that i came coz the building is damn nice! i rmb passing by it 1 yr ago and i was telling dy how nice is the building! and so i became so excited that i can go inside the building to take a look, but i made the fatal mistake that i didn't report to the security! i just walked in thinking "heng ah, the security didn't stop me, saves my trouble"

and when i step inside the lift and press "8", i realised that it didn't light up! just when i thought the life was spoilt, a grp of people came and they scan their card and press "9". And when i was thinking they can scan their cards also and help me press the stupid "8", they said i have to get a pass for the desired floor! SHIT! damn bloody embarrassed!

Anw, the reception at lion capital is damn nice and posh! its like one of the nicest reception i've ever been. And guess what! i have 4 interviewers! i think i look so shocked that the HR told me not to be afraid. 1 HR and 3 line managers! They asked me quite tough questions but given my experience in interviewing (a-hem) I'm glad that i can answer them and not be intimidated by the no. Maybe going for so many interviews does help.

And they are really nice people. I realised the number of interviewers doesnt really matter. What really matters is whether they are nice or not. Like i was not afraid at all today compared to the stupid dmg guy who is so intimidating and who thinks that he is some great fuck. i just felt so irritated throughout and wanted to get out!

At the end of the interview when i walked out, i really felt v happy! Not bcoz i like the job or what, but just remembering how i used to enjoy going for interviews. the feeling just came back today. Though some pt back i really dun wish to go for interviews anymore and just get a job! i enjoy meeting different people, handling interviewers of different style and different qns, visiting new places and new co, and the more i go, the more i know what i really want! and i just like the fact that i think nobody has been to more companies than myself.

companies that i've gone for interviews (not in any order):
1)credit suisse
2)jp morgan (hey at least i've step inside b4, who can ever step inside in their lifetime haha, and when i step inside i understand why they are one of the top banks, its damn bloody impressive, even their receptionists are damn pro)
3) uob
4) bank of tokyo mitsubishi (and their receptionist looked so un-pro, compared to jp morgan)
5) calyon ( the interviewers are so unprepared, they don't know what to ask me)
6) dmg & partners ( the one i reject)
7) lion capital (today's one)
8) standchart (haha i called to tell him i don't want the job)

i think thats all, duno if i missed out any coy. according to my friend, my failure rate is damn high! but if my failure rate is not high, i wouldnt have a chance to have a look at other companies right? (just to console myself) and i kept thinking is it me or is it god closing the doors? i decided that its god closing the doors ;)

THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH ME! haha :) wow wat a long entry for today